Found it on ebay

My friend Brig sent me this link not so much for the items being sold on ebay but rather the amazing explanation of why this mom needs to get rid of said items. If you've ever been to the grocery store w/ children in tow as a solo parent/guardian/babysitter, you will truly empathize!

PLEASE READ - http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675

My nephews

As most of you don't know, I have an older sister, Lupe, who lives quite the amazing lifestyle. Part of that includes spending her summers with her family at their beach house in an exclusive little community located in the panhandle of Florida known as Seaside. Below is a link to the feature film my 13 year old nephew, Eric, wrote, filmed, & directed this summer while at their second home. My nephew, Jay, was allowed a part in it as well.

Although I'm not very close to my family, I am proud and in awe of my nephew's creativity. Make note of his name; it'll probably famous one day.

http://web.mac.com/eichtolu

What did they just say?

I just witnessed a commercial where a group of middle aged guys are jammin out, crankin the blues at the local pub singing a tune which should be a swank little version of Elvis' Viva Las Vegas but instead I hear, VIVA VIAGRA!

You would have thought it was a SNL skit. It actually would have been more palpable if Will Farrell was in it.

Truly disturbing.

Judgement

I despise when I feel I'm being judged. Aside from the obvious reasons... it really causes me to second guess and criticize myself in true OCD fashion. And I'm just not sure that's healthy. It always whammies me in a way that brings me back to that little chubby girl who was just a little too loud, a little too silly, a little too odd (frankly) for appropriate neighbors to allow in their house to play with their little darlings. So then I question and scrutinize every action and word and dwell in the land of regret and "dammit, why couldn't I have..."

I wonder if men go thru this...

I wonder if anyone other than a melodramatic hag as myself goes thru this...

a view on success

Success, I've learned, has little to do with the performance of God's will. Sometimes we fail because of our own stupidity or shortsightedness, and we must learn lessons from our own mistakes. Sometimes we fail because of someone else's failure, or because there was too much rain or too little rain. In these cases, there are no corrective lessons to be learned.

Success is not an automatic consequence of obedience. "A righteous man falls seven times and rises again" (Proverbs 24:16). Saint and sinner alike must take their lumps and go on to the next risk. But for the believer there is one guarantee. We have a dependable God who made a trustworthy commitment that no matter what happens -- success or failure -- he will use it for ultimate good.

Robert D. Lupton, THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM: CELEBRATING THE GOSPEL IN URBAN AMERICA

Full Time Ministry

Bill's officially full time starting tomorrow w/ the church. What a trip. On paper, we totally look like crap & yet, we feel now's the time. We're going to be stretched betond belief over the next few months as God takes us to a deeper level of faith & trust. Keep us in prayer...

Contentment

Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. I am rarely content. I think in almost every circumstance I could find something else that could be tweeked and then made "perfect." I seriously don't know what my problem is. My thing right now is absolute dissatisfaction with my house. I'm sick of it and I want to move. No particular reason. I just think that somewhere else would be better.

I sometimes wonder what is it about my past that makes me so critical. And if it's just part of my personality, how annoying that God used those ingredients in my recipe!

BTW

Anyone hear about a group in Hong Kong trying to label the bible as "indecent"? If this movement is successful, all bibles will need to be labled with a warning which states it is inappropriate for children and only adults 18 and older will be able to purchase it.

Read more here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,272955,00.html

Mmmm . . .

I should blog but there's not much to blog about. So, I just decided to change the layout.

go Alanis, go Alanis, go, go, go Alanis

So Alanis Morrisette has come out with a "remake" of the Black Eyed Peas, My Humps. I have to admit I am a big fan of hers and see Jagged Little Pill as necessary to complete a true ecletic CD collection. I think her music is extremely expressive, empowering, and truly feminine -- the good, the bad, & the ugly. Aside from all that, she makes an interesting statement with this video. As according to the Chicago Tribune:


The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps," though a huge smash, was widely mocked for its vapid, suggestive lyrics. (Sample: "The boys they wanna sex me, they always standing next to me, always dancing next to me, tryin' a feel my hump, hump.") The video, featuring Fergie, the group's lead singer, was, if possible, even tawdrier. Full of non-stop teasing and thrusting, it's the kind of hip-hop booty porn that would make great torture material for Muslim prisoners at our Guantanamo Bay prison camp. Dressing herself Fergie-style, with baubles and bling, surrounded by black-clad male dancers, Morissette retained the original's visual sluttiness but replaced the Peas' thumping rhythm track with a pensive solo piano. By removing the intoxicating bass line and clearly enunciating the crass lyrics, she gave the song's sexpot swagger a new tone of sadness and desperation while simultaneously parodying her own artistic tendencies toward self-absorbed angst.


Here are the links to both videos. Curious as to what you think.

Black Eyed Peas version, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj9swNR5-lY

Alanis Morisette's version, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g

Amazing Grace

Headed to Chicago tonight for Grace's bday which officially is tomorrow. We'll be getting her first American Girl doll, hanging with friends, doing lots of other girly things... It's so crazy that my eldest is 8. I mean she came out weighing 8lbs and now she's 8.

(Holy crap does time fly.)

Blessings to you my first born child

the one we waited so long for

the one we cried so much for

the one that changed all that was real

the one that still forces me to be

so much more

GH2

I'm in hell. It's bad enough God humorously chose a soulmate for me that actually listened to, bought the cassettes of, and still knows all the lyrics to every crappy 80s hair-band song that ever existed -- I was a new wave punk girl myself (as if there were any doubt) -- BUT now, thanks to some garage band geeks from wherever the hell New Jersey who finally focused all that retarded air guitar energy into actually creating a video game, I'm stuck listening to Warrent every morning, noon, & night! A CURSE UPON YOU GUITAR HERO FREAKS!!!


"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me" Psalm 27:7

e.e. cummings - i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Matthew 18

I had an amazing encounter today. Someone in our church confronted me on things they were concerned with and although that's never pleasant, it was truly honoring. What the action communicated to me was that this person loved me enough, cared for me enough, and valued me enough as a woman, a friend, a fellow believer, and a pastor to press thru an issue and deepen our relationship. The timing of course couldn't be more perfect as my husband preached on bringing things out in the light b/c as they stay in the dark, they fester like a cancer and only bring death & destruction.

What truly touched me was the depth of character that this person (timidly) revealed; especially b/c they don't believe they have that depth. It also demonstrated to me that although this person is somewhat "young" in the Lord, this person hears God's voice and is allowing themselves to be shaped & molded by it. In the midst of so many other voices flooding this person on a daily basis, they heard & followed the Holy Spirit and pursued the rougher path of loving confrontation.

That's sincere friendship. That's the true essence and beauty of all an authentic community can be. I'm so blessed that this person did not want me to stay where I was or where they were, but rather, let God heal us and take us somewhere new.

More FYI

April 30, 2007 - "Silence can say more than a thousand words. This day shall unite us all about this unbelievable painful & shocking event and show some respect and love to those who lost their loved ones.On April 30th 2007, the Blogosphere will hold a One-Day Blog Silence in honor of the victims at Virginia Tech. More then 30 died at the US college massacre. But it´s not only about them. Many bloggers have responded and asked about all the other victims of our world. All the people who die every day. What about them? This day can be a symbol of support to all the victims of our world! All you have to do is spread the word about it and post the graphic on your blog on 30th April 2007. No words and no comments. Just respect, reflect and empathy."

FYI

Thought this might interest some of you.

On April 28, 2007 you can lend your voice to the Take Back the Blog! Blogswarm in support of the rights of women to participate fully in all aspects of our society, including specifically online in the world of blogging but indeed everywhere and at all times, day and night, without fear of harassment, intimidation, sexual harassment, online stalking and slander, predation or violence of any sort.

Celebrity

This past weekend at a conference, I heard a woman say that "we have a celebrity mentality in the church;" and she was wailing hard against it. Somehow here in American Evangelicalism, we have placed a higher honor on those gifts that draw people's atttention. You know, the preaching, teaching, etc... and we've decided that those with any mercy or helps gift is sweet, but just not as important.

I can just hear Jesus sigh as he rolls his eyes and says, "remember: the last shall be first guys." Followed with a holy tsk, tsk, tsk. Anyway, I don't know if this convicts anyone else, but I am humbled.

virginia tech

John 16.31-33, the Message

Jesus answered them, ...I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."

ok in the yuck

i'm ok in the yuck
in the muck
in the mire
making mudpies
underneath the grey skies

i'm ok as i wait
and wait and wait
then thinking i'll be late
but really i'm early
silly girly

i'm ok as i learn to laugh and giggle
so impatient my mind wiggles
timing, timing
as i'm pining, pining
my feets dangling as i swing

i'm ok as you see my vulnerable privacy
i had 3 babies --
puhleez, ain't no modesty --
i'm ok as i begin
again
rebirth

Psalm 37.4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will grant desires of your heart."

This was a huge verse that spoke to both Bill & I when we were beginning to date. At the time, we took it as "a sign" of our relationship's destiny. Since then, it's been somewhat of a point of contention for my inner-man, if you will. My desire and my passion aren't seeming to match up with my call. It's probably my guilt-ridden paradigm haunting me again, "if you like it, it can't be from God... to serve him, you must die to your self & what you want for the sake of the kingdom." (BTW, this post may be frustrating to some b/c I'm not real good at coming out & saying what I'm talking about... just roll with it, ok, people?)

I can't remember a time being out of relationship with God in my life. As a little girl, he was my best playmate. In high school, he became my best friend. In college, he pursued me as a lover. And after college, I was sure I would be his alone. Of course, that changed. I fell for Jesus so passionately that I never allowed myself the option of following or serving him in any other way than ministry. But I'm at this conference today titled, "Unlimited Passion;" and these ideas are creeping in my head of the dream I died to years ago.

You see, I'm a true believer in the fact that my kids are watching me and how I am living my life; especially my girls. Therefore, I'm trying to weigh out the severity of continuing to deny myself and perhaps what I was created to do. The dilemma though is in this: I also firmly believe that I have a call in my life and to deny that would be sinful.

I don't know how to do both, but I don't think my heart will stop aching if I continue to deny this dream much longer.