Out with the old and in with the new

A year ago at this time, I was feeling such promise for what 2011 held for me, my family, and my ministry. Sadly, when I look back now on this past year, the first words that come to mind are bitterness and disdain. It was such a hard year emotionally, mentally and financially. Ironically, Bill & I kept asking God, "where do we go.. what do we do.. tell us & we'll follow." As door after door closed, as person after person left our community, as every last dime of our savings was spent, we still didn't let go and surrender to the obvious - it was simply time to move on. If anything, Bill & I are insanely passionate and loyal people. When we commit to something, we're there to the bitter end. There are pros and cons to that of course, but I don't think we'd be authentically ourselves if we lived life any differently.

In August, we both knew it was time for us to leave Green Bay, but didn't know where or how.. As friends & mentors shared advice and prayer, Bill felt in his heart we would be blessed wherever we went; God simply wanted to know: what. did. WE. want. And that was a tough question. We had never considered our happiness in this journey. (Possibly a crazy concept for some of you, but after years of ministry & expecting sacrifice and suffering as part of the deal, I honestly had never considered God would want us happy.. I know, warped.)

So, we started thinking and dreaming. For Bill, pursuing his doctorate and becoming a full-time writer topped his list. For me, my heart longed for more opportunities with professional theater. For our kids, a place where their sensitivity, creativity and quirky-ness was celebrated and encouraged. We also knew we would need a faith community where we fit and that we could call home. Plus, being pastors, we knew it had to be a place that could challenge us, love us, and frankly, tolerate us as we took time to re-evaluate what we had just spent 20 years doing together. We prayed and began to consider Boston, Minneapolis or Seattle.

In October, "it just so happened" Bill was scheduled to go on retreat in CO. Then, we both had plans to attend our regional retreat in Green Lake, WI. Lastly, I was blessed with the opportunity to go on retreat as well with some fellow women pastors in Malibu (twist my arm.) It was an amazing 3 weeks of tuning out the chaos of our uncertainty and settling into the heartbeat of God. By the end of the month, we knew: Seattle. By the end of November, Bill was hired and given a generous bonus that allowed us to catch up on our mortgage as well as have a wonderful Christmas. Essentially, as soon as we took the first step of faith, we saw the path (cue scene: Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade). Once again, this holiday season has filled my heart with such hope and anticipation; where there was darkness, there is such clear and glorious light (very solstice appropriate).

Practically, what this looks like for us as a family: Bill will be moving to the Seattle area (Issaquah, specifically) Jan. 6. He'll be Director of Operations for Green Bay Custom Theater by day and blogger/philosopher/writer by night. In June, after the school year ends, the kids and I will follow. Please remember us during the transition. Six months is a long time for Bill to be away from the kids and they're a little nervous about that. Prepping the house to sell is not something I'm looking forward to, although I'm actually excited about purging the junk and simplifying our lives. And did I mention how much I HATE moving?? But I digress..

Anyway, thanks to FB, skype, txting, you're all only a technological beat away. Please keep in touch. Bill won't admit it, but he really appreciates hearing from you. And, since I'm basically single-mom-ing it till June, I'd love to see you when I can. Of course, I'll most likely put you to work.. ;p

May your 2012 be filled with joy, hope, & love overflowing ~