anonymous

I have issues with anonymity. It's almost cowardly to me. I guess there's a time & a place for it, but God gave us each a voice, an identity, a personality to use and use well. By that I mean, part of our evolution, our growth, as humans, let alone believers, is to become more & more of who we were originally created to be. When we choose fear, of any kind, we deny the possibility of God moving and acting in our life. That includes our opinions. You see, somehow, in this country, we've equated freedom of speech with the right to share whatever comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous and offensive. We clothe ourselves with this entitlement under the guise of anonymity and we convince ourselves that what we have to say is that important. And frankly, if we don't have the strength, the courage, the hutzpah to own what we say, is it really worth the air to say it out loud??? Is it really worth anyone's time to listen to.

Here lies my dilemma: yeah, there's a freedom in being anonymous, but there's no responsibility; and when there's no responsibility, there's no risk. No risk, no adversity, and therefore no growth. And if I'm unable to grow and move forward in this life, if I just stay at square 1, seriously, what kind of Christian am I? What kind of woman am I? What kind of person am I?

Only God knows

As you may or may not know, I work at Bellin Hospital as a chaplain and part of that job is being on call one wknd ea month. This was my weekend. Last night I was called in to be with a pt who was dying. The pt/family were Roman Catholic & requested that the pt receive the sacrament of the anointing of the sick. FYI - this is when the priest comes and anoints the pts head & hands w/ oil and prays. I've experienced this & it can be very powerful.

Anyway, I make the appropriate phone calls, get a priest to come in, and follow up with the family. They were very emotional. Turns out, the pt although elderly and battling cancer, wasn't expected to die as quickly as he was. He & his wife had met when she was 16 and had been married for 49 years. Well, based on my limited knowledge, I assumed the pt had a day of so to go. Therefore, I offered a little final encouragement and headed back home. No sooner had I turned on my street when my beeper proceeds to go off again. The pt had just died.

The nurse told me, as I called in, that the family requested me to return and so I did. His wife & kids, along w/ the rest of the family were devistated. You may be thinking, well, they knew he was dying... why were they so upset???

If I have learned anything over the past two years it's this: no matter how prepared you think you are for somebody to die, you're never really prepared for how final the death really is. And no matter how hard you try to predict when it will happen, only God knows the moment of our death.

I know this blog may sound kind of morbid, but I'm trying to express the comfort I have in the knowledge that only God knows. Whether it may be a birth or death or anything in between, only God knows what each day holds and I don't have to be consumed with anxiety or worry. He's got it covered. And that's a beautiful thing.

Chick Nite

I LOVE Thursday nites! Why?? It's chick nite & I love, LUV-LUV-LUV-LUV, getting together w/ da sistas!! It's so amazing when a group of women can get together and share honestly, authentically about life and God. Our group is so cool - we've got women in their 20s, 30s, 40s... some are married, some single, some divorced... w/ kids, w/o... it's just such a powerful and wonderful time to learn from ea other and simply be w/ ea other. There's no better way to be a woman than by hanging with other women, sharing with them, praying with them... so FABULOUS... I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!

We've been getting together for 6 wks (or so) now and we've reached that point where the external layers are coming off & the realness takes over. Every week I leave with so much to think about, thank God about... It's been along time since I've had this kind of connection w/a group of chickies. It's so nurturing. It's tending a part of my soul that was kinda wilty. I highly encourage everyone to do the same. Find some ladies, get some coffee, start meeting regularly, and just let the conversation flow. God will move & speak & change you.

Power in the WORD

I've been trying to change my speech lately. I can occasionally have a very foul mouth and worse can say some very hurtful things to the people I love -- particularly my children. And for them, it's not just what you say, but how you say it. They're very in tune with that. I know especially as a worship leader, I should be very cautious of what comes out of my mouth... you know, the leading people in praise and being (hopefully) a catalyst of the H.S. and what he's doing/saying during worship. But somehow, that responsibility hasn't been enough to cause a change. What really convicted me was a conversation I had w/ my boss at work one day. While discussing an entirely different subject, he made reference to Genesis 1 and how God created by simply speaking and it was through the POWER of his WORD that the universe was created.

Stop & meditate on that for a moment.

THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE BEGAN WITH A WORD. That's intense; I don't care what anybody says. So, this got me thinking, especially w/ my kids; are my words being used to create & empower, or to destroy & demean? That day after work, I apologized to my babies & asked for their forgiveness for the times my words caused pain and committed to speak blessing and love into their lives.

Balance

It's crazy trying to juggle everything - family, church, work, marriage, self... FAITH. Sometimes I'm so busy with "life" that I can't find quality time w/ God. And then I'm stressing out b/c I have no sense of balance or peace. I never expected to be so busy when trying to plant a church. Isn't that crazy? I mean, for so long, it seemed like nothing was going on and then suddenly, or so it seems, we're in high gear and life is constantly going. I haven't quite adjusted though and I'm missing my time w/ Jesus.

Lord, help me to find the time, to make the time, to be with you. In you alone is where I find my peace, my hope, my assurance.

You know, I want to be a real lover of people -- not my usual self. I'm typically so reserved until I feel safe. But I don't want that anymore. I want to be free to love the people that come into my life... free w/o agenda. I think that's part of my struggle w/ feeling balanced & whole. I spend a lot of energy guarding myself as I invest in relationships. Ironic, isn't it? I'm so annoyed by the frivolous or shallow, but my stinking guard is up so strong and so high that by the time I decide to let somebody in, it's exhausting; and then I feel, literally, like I don't have a hold on anything else. So everything and everyone's at a safe distance. I feel in control and yet unbalanced.

Only in God be at rest my soul, for from him comes my strength. He alone is my rock, my safety, my stronghold; I shall not be moved.

I'm feeling stale

I'm feeling stale. Not sure why... Our church is growing, we have two small groups, children's ministry is becoming a problem... these are actually all good things. Yet, I feel... I don't know...

There are times when everything should be ok and then something isn't right. I can never figure it out it seems in time to do "the right thing" or respond/prevent. I'm always in some way disconnected. Church is good, finances suck... kids are healthy, but the dog is nuts... I'm always in some state of mess - laundry, dishes, more laundry, more dishes. This shouldn't affect me the way it does, but it does.

Life never seems to just flow.

Maybe my expectations are off and the lives I perceive others living aren't all as together as I think. Maybe I'm terrified of life flowing peacefully, free of anxiety. Maybe I'm just tired...

It just makes me sick

Watching so public a display of Ted Haggard's fall from grace is sickening. I say this not because what he has or has not done, but of what his wife & children must be going through. The husband or dad you thought you had a week ago is no longer the same man and that is a heartbreaking reality. I can only imagine the fallout. And why didn't someone in his position, claiming to seek God, why didn't he speak to someone about his temptations, his struggles, his anguish before now... before his family has been humiliated.

Unfortunately, America will watch this man and his family squirm amidst their vulnerability and embarrassment in a vicious and voyeurisitc way enthralled that "the mighty have fallen." All I can think about is his wife and kids... it just makes my stomach sick.

Holidays vs. Holy Days

I send my kids to this small, christian school; and I wrestle with this choice a couple of times during the year. I love the teachers and the principal. I know my kids are getting an amazing education, are getting equipped to become lifelong learners. And this school is passionate about faith and are true partners in raising my kids. This is one of those times though. Why? Halloween. Can I tell you how tired I am of people making WAY-TOO-BIG of a deal with this holiday?? Because frankly, it's just about the candy. If not, why are local churches throwing "Hallelujah parties" or sponsoring "Trunk-or-Treat?" So much of what they've created is based on a ridiculous mythology that was birthed from the pagan movement of the 1950s. History has shown us that really the women who were burned at the stake were not witches but rather midwives and strong, independent women. Also, the druids were simply like every other pre-Christ, fable-filled religion. It was simplistic and superstitious - not satanic.

So, my kids' school... the students aren't supposed to talk about Halloween...costumes, candy, anything. (Ironically, if we chose to send our kids to public school, they couldn't talk about Christmas & Easter!) It really tormented my 7 year old that she may be "partaking in the devil's birthday." And if you knew my Grace, she was sincerely concerned that she was sinning against God by wanting candy! My husband, who theolgizes at any & every opportunity, then began to speak to her on Romans 14 and how God gives each of us freedom to act & choose according to what our individual faith requires.

Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience. (v.5, The Message)

And why does God do this, b/c God looks at the heart & judges accordingly.

Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. (v.13, The Message)

Grace said she understood -- hopefully, in some way she did.

There's a real trick (no pun intended) to living in the world and not being of it; to loving people and being relatable, but still being holy and set apart. What kind of example am I day in, day out, to those who know the gospel, let alone those who don't! Am I salt & light, am I one who blesses, encourages, loves at all times? I just think that there's so much more to be concerned with as believers then to stress out over a little candy.

the amish way

Last week, a "civilian" entered an amish school in PA and executed 6 little girls. He then killed himself. The amish community, completely justified, could have lashed out to America with some judgemental statement and in essence separated themselves even more from the world. Instead, they met with the murderers' wife, brought her food and spoke forgiveness to her. They took notice of her present reality that she is a widow and alone with 3 children. When her husband had his funeral, 100 people attended. 50 or more of those were the amish.

The amish way is something we all should stop and seriously look at. There's a simplicity and humility toward life that is awe-inspiring. As well, there's an awareness of a Creator and a grateful submission therefore that they adhere to that is foreign to the majority of people in North America.

Embarrassingly, I have been judgemental of the amish and presumed that their separation from the world served no purpose. Dear God, was I wrong. Never before do I think I've heard the gospel proclaimed in a more clear or powerful way... in such a simple, profound, devoted, and authentic way.

In the words of Marvin Gaye...

What's goin on!!! 17 school shootings since the beginning of THIS school year. That's effed-up. There is something wrong w/ our society and our culture and it's so multi-layered, I don't know if we'll ever get to the root. In some ways I see it as the fault of such a thing as this - a blog - where any & everyone has the chance to freely spew whatever thoughts they care to w/ no concern of consequence. This amazing tool (the internet) has turned the world upside down and made neighbors out of continents and yet we become socially retarded exponentially day after day. We lock ourselves away before this 13/17/20 inch screen and think we're connecting to someone real as we chat the night away. We think we're free b/c the anonymity makes us feel uninhibited. We feel so righteous & satisfied as we shoot our opinions w/o interruption...

Something is wrong with us! 17 effing school shootings... When will we learn that the pain, the lonliness, the desparation doesn't go away no matter how many pills we take that day. And just b/c it's awkward to risk friendship after a certain age doesn't mean we seclude ourselves and watch hour after hour of "reality TV." People listen to Oprah and faithfully watch Dr. Phil, but they'll never leave their homes to interact with an actual live human being.

We were made for relationship people. Made to love God and love others. Somtimes the process of that sucks, b/c life is life and sh*t happens. We need to log off, turn off, disconnect and get out of the house and be with people. Say hello to a stranger, let somebody in front of you at the grocery store, talk about the weather, talk about anything, BUT STOP SHOOTING PEOPLE! I mean, seriously...

too much

How much is too much? I'm trying to figure this out. I'm a very empathetic person, almost too much, and so figuring out the balancing act of ministry & life is a struggle. Last week @ the hosp, a guy walked into my office, said he was looking for the chaplain; I confirmed. He then shared he had just tried to kill himself... I then spent the rest of my day hanging with him and talking and doing my part at that time to avert crisis and bring some hope and clarity. The good news is, he's still around this week. The other part of the story is everything else that's involved and frankly, this blog is not the time or place.

What I'm getting at is I get so emotionally involved that I'm struggling to let go. I know I'm not the saviour or healer here, but I want things to be better, NOW, and I want to be involved. I get frustrated that I'm not and I kind of obsess. My husband has commented on this. My struggle then is this: how much is too much? too much involvement... too much concern... too much time focused on it... how much???

I don't know how to separate myself sometimes. That sounds so unhealthy doesn't it? But if I lose that empathy, that concern and ignore my gut, my passion, what kind of minister will I be? What kind of believer?? How can I expect & anticipate the kingdom come if I'm not ready at any time? I reflect on the apostles and the earliest followers of Jesus and everything he asked of them. This is where my dilemma lies... I'm not sure there's any option but the one that gives too much when it comes to HIM.

Regret

My dad has never met my kids. In fact, prior to last Father's Day, I hadn't seen him since my wedding day over 13 yrs ago. I went to visit him last year after his wife (step-mom) died. It was a very pleasant and touching visit. We spent a wonderful couple of days together. Since then though, his health has rapidly deteriorated and I fear he won't make it till Christmas this year. He's in the process of beginning hemo-dialysis and and now needs 24 hr care.

Not sure what to think of it all. My co-workers are extremely supportive and eager to accomodate my schedule this summer so as to visit. Some church-going friends though ask about his salvation; and I don't know what to say. My whole concept of God's grace is not very traditional, I think. I'm just really trusting that he's so much more faithful and merciful then I can even imagine. But then if I chance it, will I regret not talking w/ him before he dies? Depending on the conversation, will I regret talking to him in the first place? He says he believes in Jesus as the Christ, reads scripture and meditates; but doesn't see the point in church. (Frankly, I don't blame him.)

So, should I be worried; should I not... should I be worried that I'm not worried about his soul? What to do...what to think...either way, regrets.

Faith

As a pastor & chaplain, I often am in the position to tout about "keepin' the faith" and trusting in God's plan. I gotta tell ya, that's so much easier when it has nothing to do w/ your own personal life.

My youngest, Maggie, had some kidney problems when she was born; but after what appeared to be a successful surgery, everything was fine. Yesterday, the kids & I drove down to Children's Hospital for a check up & it looks like the kidney's having problems again. The right one looks overly large & full and the left one is bigger than normal size and empty. What that means is the left kidney is compensating for the right one and she'll need surgery again. Hopefully, she'll only need a stint to be put in and things will go back to normal. Worse case scenario - she'll lose the kidney.

Now before I worked in a hospital and really began to learn about how important kidneys were, I would have been like, "ok; she'll be fine w/ one kidney." But now I know that can lead to so many other things; very complicated things.

I guess it's time to stare in the mirror and start preaching to myself. Fortunately, it really doesn't matter what I do... God IS faithful and sovereign IN ALL THINGS. Now if only I would listen to myself.

Bono up for Nobel Prize... again

Bono is up for the Nobel prize again for his work against global poverty. Someone I indirectly know (yet likes to voice judgemental opinions in my direction) believes that Bono is extremely pompous and doesn't know anything; he's just a lobbyist, none of this behavior has anything to do with his faith. My response:

HELL YEAH he's a lobbyist and frankly, I believe it would be irresponsible for him not to lobby and petition people and governments on behalf of the poor. He's been blessed w/ a certain place in society, similar to Oprah & Bill Gates (who also lobby on behalf of the widows & orphans -- shall we pooh-pooh them as well?), and I believe is very aware that all he has here, will stay here; so, he's doing the most he can w/ it here.

I personally feel Bono is doing a great deal for the Kingdom of God being a voice for the poor. Because of his power and wealth, he can accomplish a great deal more than myself. Now, that doesn't let me (or the rest of the church) off the hook of course...

but what do I know? I'm just a pomo chick doing my best to love & serve the Lord...

puppy-dom

We got a black lab puppy not to long ago and she's great, absolutely wonderful w/ the kids and after 10 days seems to be getting the the whole house-training thing; especially now that we got a crate. And what's really cool is the kids like to play in the crate to; so when I need a break from them...

Super Bowl Commercials

So according to TiVO, the top commercial during the Super Bowl on Sunday was from Ameriquest mortgage (I think - whoever said the "don't judge") and basically the premise was this:

A crowded airplane at night, a woman gets up, there's turbelance, she loses her balance and lands in some guy's lap. The compartment lights turn on and everybody sees her sitting on him and he looks confused. People aren't to judge b/c of the embarrassing position she's in. She's facing him, STRADDLED on his lap, blouse has popped open, and he has one of those sleep masks that he's now pushed up and it looks like a black bra on his head.

I think you all can get the picture.

Now, I'm not gonna get all RR on you, or all psycho-fem either, but WHERE THE HELL'S THE FCC NOW? Aside from the obvious objectification of women (had to throw it in there - and don't even get me started on those "godaddy.com" or whatever ads), how is it ok for kids to see a 30 sec ad eluding to people having sex and not ok for a 3 sec "wardrobe malfunction"?

I'm disgusted b/c of the hypocrisy. Parents, teachers, doctors, caregivers are afraid to be blunt about good touch v. bad touch, but in 4th/5th grade they can learn about condoms. Christians are ok w/ Brittney Spears b/c she once mentioned being Baptist, but freak out that kids read HARRY POTTER. We like that Jesus came for the tax-collectors & prostitutes, but we don't really want them to come to church (only the Salvation Army).

Anyways... I could go on and on, but hopefully you see why I found this ridiculous.

If you didn't hear about this or have a chance to read this yet, please, take a few moments and read Bono's "homily" at the National Prayer Breakfast. It's a radical call & message to the church and to this country. It really impressed me. Don't you just love it when the voice of God rings out loud and strong and right thru the BS? Especially from someone NOT in "religious circles"?

Bono's best sermon yet: Remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast

[RUSH TRANSCRIPT: CHECK AGAINST DELIVERED REMARKS]
If you're wondering what I'm doing here, at a prayer breakfast, well, so am I. I'm certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather. It's certainly not because I'm a rock star. Which leaves one possible explanation: I'm here because I've got a messianic complex.
Yes, it's true. And for anyone who knows me, it's hardly a revelation.
Well, I'm the first to admit that there's something unnatural...something unseemly...about rock stars mounting the pulpit and preaching at presidents, and then disappearing to their villas in the south of France. Talk about a fish out of water. It was weird enough when Jesse Helms showed up at a U2 concert...but this is really weird, isn't it?
You know, one of the things I love about this country is its separation of church and state. Although I have to say: in inviting me here, both church and state have been separated from something else completely: their mind.
Mr. President, are you sure about this?
It's very humbling and I will try to keep my homily brief. But be warned - I'm Irish.
I'd like to talk about the laws of man, here in this city where those laws are written. And I'd like to talk about higher laws. It would be great to assume that the one serves the other; that the laws of man serve these higher laws...but of course, they don't always. And I presume that, in a sense, is why you're here.
I presume the reason for this gathering is that all of us here - Muslims, Jews, Christians - all are searching our souls for how to better serve our family, our community, our nation, our God.
I know I am. Searching, I mean. And that, I suppose, is what led me here, too.
Yes, it's odd, having a rock star here - but maybe it's odder for me than for you. You see, I avoided religious people most of my life. Maybe it had something to do with having a father who was Protestant and a mother who was Catholic in a country where the line between the two was, quite literally, a battle line. Where the line between church and state was...well, a little blurry, and hard to see.
I remember how my mother would bring us to chapel on Sundays... and my father used to wait outside. One of the things that I picked up from my father and my mother was the sense that religion often gets in the way of God.
For me, at least, it got in the way. Seeing what religious people, in the name of God, did to my native land...and in this country, seeing God's second-hand car salesmen on the cable TV channels, offering indulgences for cash...in fact, all over the world, seeing the self-righteousness roll down like a mighty stream from certain corners of the religious establishment...
I must confess, I changed the channel. I wanted my MTV.
Even though I was a believer.
Perhaps because I was a believer.
I was cynical...not about God, but about God's politics. (There you are, Jim.)
Then, in 1997, a couple of eccentric, septuagenarian British Christians went and ruined my shtick - my reproachfulness. They did it by describing the millennium, the year 2000, as a Jubilee year, as an opportunity to cancel the chronic debts of the world's poorest people. They had the audacity to renew the Lord's call - and were joined by Pope John Paul II, who, from an Irish half-Catholic's point of view, may have had a more direct line to the Almighty.
'Jubilee' - why 'Jubilee'?
What was this year of Jubilee, this year of our Lord's favor?
I'd always read the scriptures, even the obscure stuff. There it was in Leviticus (25:35)...
'If your brother becomes poor,' the scriptures say, 'and cannot maintain himself...you shall maintain him.... You shall not lend him your money at interest, not give him your food for profit.'
It is such an important idea, Jubilee, that Jesus begins his ministry with this. Jesus is a young man, he's met with the rabbis, impressed everyone, people are talking. The elders say, he's a clever guy, this Jesus, but he hasn't done much...yet. He hasn't spoken in public before...
When he does, is first words are from Isaiah: 'The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,' he says, 'because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.' And Jesus proclaims the year of the Lord's favour, the year of Jubilee (Luke 4:18).
What he was really talking about was an era of grace - and we're still in it.
So fast-forward 2,000 years. That same thought, grace, was made incarnate - in a movement of all kinds of people. It wasn't a bless-me club... it wasn't a holy huddle. These religious guys were willing to get out in the streets, get their boots dirty, wave the placards, follow their convictions with actions...making it really hard for people like me to keep their distance. It was amazing. I almost started to like these church people.
But then my cynicism got another helping hand.
It was what Colin Powell, a five-star general, called the greatest W.M.D. of them all: a tiny little virus called AIDS. And the religious community, in large part, missed it. The ones that didn't miss it could only see it as divine retribution for bad behaviour. Even on children...even [though the] fastest growing group of HIV infections were married, faithful women.
Aha, there they go again! I thought to myself judgmentalism is back!
But in truth, I was wrong again. The church was slow but the church got busy on this the leprosy of our age.
Love was on the move.
Mercy was on the move.
God was on the move.
Moving people of all kinds to work with others they had never met, never would have cared to meet...conservative church groups hanging out with spokesmen for the gay community, all singing off the same hymn sheet on AIDS...soccer moms and quarterbacks...hip-hop stars and country stars. This is what happens when God gets on the move: crazy stuff happens!
Popes were seen wearing sunglasses!
Jesse Helms was seen with a ghetto blaster!
Crazy stuff. Evidence of the spirit.
It was breathtaking. Literally. It stopped the world in its tracks.
When churches started demonstrating on debt, governments listened - and acted. When churches starting organising, petitioning, and even - that most unholy of acts today, God forbid, lobbying...on AIDS and global health, governments listened - and acted.
I'm here today in all humility to say: you changed minds; you changed policy; you changed the world.
Look, whatever thoughts you have about God, who He is or if He exists, most will agree that if there is a God, He has a special place for the poor. In fact, the poor are where God lives.
Check Judaism. Check Islam. Check pretty much anyone.
I mean, God may well be with us in our mansions on the hill. I hope so. He may well be with us as in all manner of controversial stuff. Maybe, maybe not. But the one thing we can all agree, all faiths and ideologies, is that God is with the vulnerable and poor.
God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them. "If you remove the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom with become like midday and the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places."
It's not a coincidence that in the scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It's not an accident. That's a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. (You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.) 'As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me' (Matthew 25:40). As I say, good news to the poor.
Here's some good news for the president. After 9/11 we were told America would have no time for the world's poor. America would be taken up with its own problems of safety. And it's true these are dangerous times, but America has not drawn the blinds and double-locked the doors.
In fact, you have doubled aid to Africa. You have tripled funding for global health. Mr. President, your emergency plan for AIDS relief and support for the Global Fund - you and Congress - have put 700,000 people onto life-saving anti-retroviral drugs and provided 8 million bed nets to protect children from malaria.
Outstanding human achievements. Counterintuitive. Historic. Be very, very proud.
But here's the bad news. From charity to justice, the good news is yet to come. There is much more to do. There's a gigantic chasm between the scale of the emergency and the scale of the response.
And finally, it's not about charity after all, is it? It's about justice.
Let me repeat that: It's not about charity, it's about justice.
And that's too bad.
Because you're good at charity. Americans, like the Irish, are good at it. We like to give, and we give a lot, even those who can't afford it.
But justice is a higher standard. Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice; it makes a farce of our idea of equality. It mocks our pieties, it doubts our concern, it questions our commitment.
Sixty-five hundred Africans are still dying every day of a preventable, treatable disease, for lack of drugs we can buy at any drug store. This is not about charity, this is about justice and equality.
Because there's no way we can look at what's happening in Africa and, if we're honest, conclude that deep down, we really accept that Africans are equal to us. Anywhere else in the world, we wouldn't accept it. Look at what happened in South East Asia with the tsunami. 150,000 lives lost to that misnomer of all misnomers, "mother nature." In Africa, 150,000 lives are lost every month. A tsunami every month. And it's a completely avoidable catastrophe.
It's annoying but justice and equality are mates. Aren't they? Justice always wants to hang out with equality. And equality is a real pain.
You know, think of those Jewish sheep-herders going to meet the Pharaoh, mud on their shoes, and the Pharaoh says, "Equal?" A preposterous idea: rich and poor are equal? And they say, "Yeah, 'equal,' that's what it says here in this book. We're all made in the image of God."
And eventually the Pharaoh says, "OK, I can accept that. I can accept the Jews - but not the blacks."
"Not the women. Not the gays. Not the Irish. No way, man."
So on we go with our journey of equality.
On we go in the pursuit of justice.
We hear that call in the ONE Campaign, a growing movement of more than 2 million Americans...Left and Right together... united in the belief that where you live should no longer determine whether you live.
We hear that call even more powerfully today, as we mourn the loss of Coretta Scott King - mother of a movement for equality, one that changed the world but is only just getting started. These issues are as alive as they ever were; they just change shape and cross the seas.
Preventing the poorest of the poor from selling their products while we sing the virtues of the free market...that's a justice issue. Holding children to ransom for the debts of their grandparents...that's a justice issue. Withholding life-saving medicines out of deference to the Office of Patents...that's a justice issue.
And while the law is what we say it is, God is not silent on the subject.
That's why I say there's the law of the land¿. And then there is a higher standard. There's the law of the land, and we can hire experts to write them so they benefit us, so the laws say it's OK to protect our agriculture but it's not OK for African farmers to do the same, to earn a living?
As the laws of man are written, that's what they say.
God will not accept that.
Mine won't, at least. Will yours?
[ pause]
I close this morning on...very...thin...ice.
This is a dangerous idea I've put on the table: my God vs. your God, their God vs. our God...vs. no God. It is very easy, in these times, to see religion as a force for division rather than unity.
And this is a town - Washington - that knows something of division.
But the reason I am here, and the reason I keep coming back to Washington, is because this is a town that is proving it can come together on behalf of what the scriptures call the least of these.
This is not a Republican idea. It is not a Democratic idea. It is not even, with all due respect, an American idea. Nor it is unique to any one faith.
'Do to others as you would have them do to you' (Luke 6:30). Jesus says that.
'Righteousness is this: that one should...give away wealth out of love for him to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and the beggars and for the emancipation of the captives.' The Koran says that (2.177).
Thus sayeth the Lord: 'Bring the homeless poor into the house, when you see the naked, cover him, then your light will break out like the dawn and your recovery will speedily spring fourth, then your Lord will be your rear guard.' The Jewish scripture says that. Isaiah 58 again.
That is a powerful incentive: 'The Lord will watch your back.' Sounds like a good deal to me, right now.
A number of years ago, I met a wise man who changed my life. In countless ways, large and small, I was always seeking the Lord's blessing. I was saying, you know, I have a new song, look after it¿. I have a family, please look after them¿. I have this crazy idea...
And this wise man said: stop.
He said, stop asking God to bless what you're doing.
Get involved in what God is doing - because it's already blessed.
Well, God, as I said, is with the poor. That, I believe, is what God is doing.
And that is what he's calling us to do.
I was amazed when I first got to this country and I learned how much some churchgoers tithe. Up to 10% of the family budget. Well, how does that compare with the federal budget, the budget for the entire American family? How much of that goes to the poorest people in the world? Less than 1%.
Mr. President, Congress, people of faith, people of America:
I want to suggest to you today that you see the flow of effective foreign assistance as tithing.... Which, to be truly meaningful, will mean an additional 1% of the federal budget tithed to the poor.
What is 1%?
1% is not merely a number on a balance sheet.
1% is the girl in Africa who gets to go to school, thanks to you. 1% is the AIDS patient who gets her medicine, thanks to you. 1% is the African entrepreneur who can start a small family business thanks to you. 1% is not redecorating presidential palaces or money flowing down a rat hole. This 1% is digging waterholes to provide clean water.
1% is a new partnership with Africa, not paternalism toward Africa, where increased assistance flows toward improved governance and initiatives with proven track records and away from boondoggles and white elephants of every description.
America gives less than 1% now. We're asking for an extra 1% to change the world. to transform millions of lives - but not just that and I say this to the military men now - to transform the way that they see us.
1% is national security, enlightened economic self-interest, and a better, safer world rolled into one. Sounds to me that in this town of deals and compromises, 1% is the best bargain around.
These goals - clean water for all; school for every child; medicine for the afflicted, an end to extreme and senseless poverty - these are not just any goals; they are the Millennium Development goals, which this country supports. And they are more than that. They are the Beatitudes for a globalised world.
Now, I'm very lucky. I don't have to sit on any budget committees. And I certainly don't have to sit where you do, Mr. President. I don't have to make the tough choices.
But I can tell you this:
To give 1% more is right. It's smart. And it's blessed.
There is a continent - Africa - being consumed by flames.
I truly believe that when the history books are written, our age will be remembered for three things: the war on terror, the digital revolution, and what we did - or did not to - to put the fire out in Africa.
History, like God, is watching what we do.
Thank you. Thank you, America, and God bless you all.

Pity me

I'm sick and feel like poop! Plus two of my kids have been puking all night! I want my mommy! Ugh. Well, at least I could vent to someone. Thanks.

Brokeback Mountain

I had the opportunity to see Brokeback Mountain this afternoon. I can see why it's too much for some and maybe it is another "hollywood agenda" thing, but it's a film worth seeing; whether you're gay or straight. To be a civilized human being and to treat all people justly, it's pretty valuable to see. It will certainly make you think.

For me, I think I had to see it for a totally different reason than just the controversy. Even while on his deathbed breathing his last moments after a very undignified battle with AIDS, my brother wouldn't come out to me. Not that I asked, and really, it doesn't matter. But I can't help myself whenever there's a gay thing - movie/tv show/ whatever - I've got to see it. I feel like it's the only way I have left to connect to him and to finally get to know him. I think this movie really hit me b/c like my family, there was so much communicated through silence; for good and bad. And too much sadness, leads to great lonliness.

Where this puts me on the gay marriage issue, I don't know. Where this puts me in ministry and church planting, I don't know. I know it's ok to be a little confused and unsure, so I think that's where I'll be for awhile.

so whiney...

So, in reviewing my last blog, I don't blame anyone for not commenting. Could I be more whiney?? Since then, Bill & I went on a pastor's retreat and wow did that help put my insignificance in perspective! What I mean is doing ministry is really a priviledge and the call alone should be enough. It's not about being a good friend and having people like me; it's about serving HIM with all that I am, knowing that my greatest reward will be hearing him say, "well done, good & faithful servant." Seriously people, shut me down next time I sound so pathetic!

On a positive note, we've started weekly prayer meetings in our church and it's been amazing seeing God already respond. When I say prayer meeting, by the way, we're coming together with no agenda or even specific needs, but rather waiting on & seeking the Lord to hear what he desires for this community. Then we pray that back to him. It's funny how you know you should pray, but it doesn't always happen; and then you do pray and total God stuff happens.

He is SO GOOD! psalm 86