How much is too much? I'm trying to figure this out. I'm a very empathetic person, almost too much, and so figuring out the balancing act of ministry & life is a struggle. Last week @ the hosp, a guy walked into my office, said he was looking for the chaplain; I confirmed. He then shared he had just tried to kill himself... I then spent the rest of my day hanging with him and talking and doing my part at that time to avert crisis and bring some hope and clarity. The good news is, he's still around this week. The other part of the story is everything else that's involved and frankly, this blog is not the time or place.
What I'm getting at is I get so emotionally involved that I'm struggling to let go. I know I'm not the saviour or healer here, but I want things to be better, NOW, and I want to be involved. I get frustrated that I'm not and I kind of obsess. My husband has commented on this. My struggle then is this: how much is too much? too much involvement... too much concern... too much time focused on it... how much???
I don't know how to separate myself sometimes. That sounds so unhealthy doesn't it? But if I lose that empathy, that concern and ignore my gut, my passion, what kind of minister will I be? What kind of believer?? How can I expect & anticipate the kingdom come if I'm not ready at any time? I reflect on the apostles and the earliest followers of Jesus and everything he asked of them. This is where my dilemma lies... I'm not sure there's any option but the one that gives too much when it comes to HIM.
1 comment:
I feel the same way at times. I think it is because God has carried me through so much and I want others to know that there is another way. But it comes down to them having a choice. I struggle with that...I can't force this down their throat...even though I want to. And if someone would have done that to me long ago-I would have turned the other way. I think it is incredible that you were so self-less with that man. God uses people like you to truly change lives. It is hard to not get too involved when empathizing...you are in essence feeling what they are feeling. We ARE called to give too much when it comes to Him....maybe that's why we have supportive and stable husbands...to help us shoulder the weight. Jesus felt some of the same things...I am sure. He spent time in prayer and meditation to the Father...to refill. If I could only remember to do that more regularly.
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