I've been mulling over these two concepts a lot for about 10 days now. A friend explained it to me in this way: intention is a subjective perception; it's what we honestly believe and feel in the moment of commitment; but behavior is the truth of that intention and the objective evidence of that commitment.
I've really been struggling with this b/c I am such a verbal girl and I love to hear promises and declarations of love & loyalty. But then I am so crushed when it's not fulfilled. It unleashes such a sense of betrayal in my heart. I think this may be why I am so instinctively cynical and can just write people off so stinking easily. In our community though, I have to trust, I have to risk, I have to believe. Otherwise, what kind of woman, pastor, friend would I be?
Some, I know are even more dark & brooding than I, and have advised me to keep my expectations low; to sit back and see how others act or react. (kind of like pasta; just throw it against the wall, and see if it sticks) I understand that, but then I feel so calloused. Is that who I'm called to be or do I need to be the one who keeps trusting, risking, believing, hoping, again and again and again and again...
3 comments:
now i'm dark and brooding....
:)
l.
whatever makes you think i'm refering to you? ;)
This is an extremely insightful post.
It IS amazing how I can personally feel and then act or react to the situations in my life. I had one such situtation just last night. I chose to pray through it and not immediately act. Praise God!
I think as a pastor you are IN the spot light in a sense...which can make some relationships more of a challenge.
I think you just need to be you. We all get hurt when we risk and trust. But what I am finding is...I just need to be who I am and not put all the pressure on the other people to not let me down. As Bill has said, we will all let eachother down at some point...but I think it's owning our own part in things and taking resposibility for our own actions that truly shows we we want to grow.
It can be scary, but it looks like you are being authentic on your blog...which believe me...I know is a risky thing!
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