One of the most difficult things in life is to maintain relationships. People are quirky, strange, and full on crazy! More often than that though, life takes us at a speed that we focus so much on getting and doing rather than being and maintaining. It is hard work to keep up relationships, but we so badly want to get to know people and grow closer to them. We need people — it’s how we were created! Why, then, do we do so much to short circuit our friendships, when they are exactly where God wants to work in us to change and transform our lives? We will purposely distance ourselves and find petty reasons to assume the worst of those in our lives. Or worse yet we decide without effort that the investment’s not worth it. We give up because of fear, loneliness, or laziness. It’s like a marriage. Without choosing everyday to love, honor, and care for each other, you can start to drift away. It starts small, Obligations with work or the home or the kids become tasks that are easier to focus on and control rather that dealing with what’s not being talked about.
So, how do we revive passion? How do we stay true, honest, vulnerable, and sincere? How do we maintain authentic relationships?
It takes a lot of risk and it takes a lot of faith. Faith that God is involved no matter what we think! We may not always believe it, but he is always with us. And he’s using everything to heal us and make us more like him. It also takes our willingness to risk it all with each other. We need to risk being ourselves—OUR TRUE SELVES— and risk being accepted completely as we are. Sometimes that means letting people care for us, serve us, and know us right in the middle of our mess! We don’t need to be perfect; we just need to be willing.
5 comments:
I think this is a great post for discussion! Although, I am not sure what to say except...it is easier said than done at times. But I think we must come to a point where we stop caring about people seeing us in our mess and stop caring about how perfect we are...like you wrote...I think that takes practice. Letting others see our weakness is frightening...but neccesary. I also think that sometimes in relationships what you see is what you get...but most of the time there is much much more to a person than meets the eye or appears the first few times you think you are getting closer to them. It IS messy...but it can be a good messy if we risk loving.
I loved your message last week...so inspiring and true. Thanks for sharing! :)
And once again I am in disbelief that yet ANOTHER (spirtual) thing comes up that hits me hard in the gut. I don't know what is about the last month or two, but it's like your words are like a lightening bolt in my stomach. They knock me down and I have to get up and figure out where I am again.
I can relate to all your examples of losing or letting go of relationships. It's scary to think that someone is not worth the investment. Of course it is so easy to use my children as an excuse, I am just too busy. And I like to believe that is true! Now I have to ask myself, is it true? Am I really just too busy?
hmmmmm..... yeah, it's priority. Where I put them on my list of things to do. One friend in particular is coming up last on my list lately. I love her and yet, she has so many issues that I just can't deal with it or listen to her complaints all the time, and so I tell myself, "I don't have time". So, is that legitimate? How can I justify that? And where do I draw the line on those who drain me and those who lift me up? I don't mean all the time, I love to be there and help others when they need it, but I think when it becomes a habit, a person who drains you nearly every time you speak to them... then do you hang on to that? Maybe when I'm 100 and have not much to do.
Obviously this is an area where I have no clue what I am doing!! ha. Back and forth like a waivering fool.... I just don't know, I am still on the ground trying to figure out how to stand back up. This is like a big punch in the gut.
kristie
Kristie,
I know what you mean about people who drain you...it takes so much energy...and when I don't have that much energy on reserve how do I still reach out to them...it is a hard balance! I love being around others who are positive and lift me up and are not gossiping and putting other's down to make themselves feel better. But these people need friends, too. I don't know very much about this either it seems! :)
Blog.
how 'bout "maintaining a BLOG"!? Seriously, do it or let it go. you're being a great big tease!
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